Oh perfection, thou art a fickle footballer. Thanks to Ole Miss relying way too much on field goals, they cost me my perfect week. Boy, there’s nowhere to hide in the SEC this season is there? There were so many exciting games that even if you didn’t like football before Saturday, you surely do now!
The chance of upsets isn’t any less this week, so we’ve got to keep up the pace and pick the pig skinners who are headed for Poopville. So let’s get started without any further ado and see if we can find where the upset bug bites this week.
LSU at Arkansas – When the Bayou Bengals bus themselves over to Razorback Stadium, they may be planning a BBQ, but they know it’s not going to be a picnic. The Piggies have been wanting to be the upset team all season to someone who thinks they’re more than a rung or two up the ladder.
I really think the upset bug could bite in this one and if you were going to bet the house, I’d say pick another game than this one. We think it’s going four quarters to settle this squabble and both will leave knowing they were in a fight.
But there is only one winner and one loser in the end, so after four quarters, we think it will be Hogs tasting the bitterness of defeat and landing on Larry’s loser list.
Kentucky at Florida – Oh Florida, where is thy respite? Another team that’s got more going for it than Florida comes to town and adds on more misery to a season these Salamanders can’t wait to end.The Boys in Lost Wages, Nevada see this as a dead heat almost and really, so do we.
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Florida’s had a long time to come up with something that works, but they just haven’t found enough of it. Still, though, we could see the Gators jumping up and making one big last stand against a clearly better team. Hey, anything’s possible in the SEC or we’d be 100% in our picks 100% of the time!
But while we could that happening, we don’t think it will when betting with house money, so pony up the pen and let’s write Florida up once again as Larry’s loser.
Texas A&M at Mississippi State – Who wants to kick a dog when he’s down? Well, we have it on good authority that the boys from College Station are only too happy to do it. So when the Farmer Boys go to Starkvegas it’s not a bad bet to think they’ll do it.
It’s not that the Mississippi Mutts are a terrible team, they’re just in the super scary SEC where the difference between the haves and the have-nots is pretty darn wide.
So let’s put the leashes on the ones that are left and walk them over to the listing area and make Larry’s loser – Mississippi State
Auburn at Missouri – It’s a Tiger vs Tiger cage match with the event being held in the Midwest Meeyower’s stadium and may the best Tiger win. The Auburn Plains Pussycats are hoping to upset some fully grown Tigers and when you look at it in reality, it isn’t a very fair fight.
Auburn isn’t living up to the season they thought they’d have and on the other side, Missouri is continuing living the good life for the most part whipping the teams they should and fighting hard against the rest.
So Auburn, who’s always hard to predict, is once again the logical choice to land on Larry’s list, so that’s where we’ll put them.
Now these two teams have never faced off before in any season ever, but now that the Sooners are SEC, they’re going to see them regularly. Folks, this is going to be a battle. I want to pull the handle in favor of the Cocks, but Okie is tough at home and the Chickens might be stunned by the new surroundings. So anything could happen in this one.
My daddy didn’t raise no fool and he always told me, if it’s too close to tell, always go with the team that can score points and poor Okie couldn’t do that last week, so hesitantly we’re listing Larry’s loser as Oklahoma.
Alabama at Tennessee – Smoke ’em if you got ’em! This rivalry is known as the “Third Saturday in October” but it should be known as the “Cigar Bowl” as victors can’t wait to light up the victory stogies in the locker room. So when Bama buses up to Hardknocksville for this one, you can bet both teams show up with stogies.
Now Tennessee has been scoring points like crazy, racking up wins, and getting the fanbase more fired up than these after-game cigars! The problem is, they haven’t played an offense like Bama yet and these Pacyderms plan on stomping on any plans for a track meet into the grass of Neyland Stadium.
After beating Tennessee for almost a generation until last season’s big Vol win, the rivalry is now reheated and the Tusked Ones from T-Town have revenge on their mind and they plan on putting Tennessee on the loser’s list and we think they’ll do it if the defense can wake up.
Georgia at Texas – Kirby’s Canines travel to Texas to see if they can slaughter some beef for some burgers for the Bulldogs, but these ain’t no bum Steers they’re trying to tangle with, so they may be bullied by these Bovines and get gored.
Now both these coaches are Saban disciples and each knows how the other one works, so neither is going to be surprised by any trickery. This is going to be a battle and the winner will be the one who still has muscle in the fourth quarter.
Unless they have an unexpected day of disaster with turnovers or blown plays, we expect these pooches to be pooped by then and that’ll make Larry’s loser Georgia.
Ball State at Vanderbilt – The Cardinals from Ball State flap down from Indiana to Song City, Tennessee to take on the surprising Swabbies, pick up a nice check, take their lumps, and go home. Now any team that tackles the Tide ain’t about to lose to these Red Bird bums, so it may not be a game you wish to watch.
At the first of the season, we didn’t think these Commodores would open a door to the postseason, but low and behold they sure look like a bowl team now.
So pardon the plucking, find the remote and just take it for granted that the Ball State Birdies will be on Larry’s loser’s list.
Well that’s it for this week folks. While all y’all are canvasing campuses for great tailgate treats, I’m in Spain eating and drinking my way across this scenic country. Hey, you have to keep the Mrs. happy, but don’t worry, we’re still seeing the games, albeit at ungodly hours in the night and getting stats and stuff from the housesitters manning Loser’s Lair, so we’re still in the know.
Have a great weekend of warfare and see me back here next week for more laughable losers. Drop a comment and let me know your thoughts.
Larry has been writing for over 25 years and his sports articles have been published in most all the leading sites. He was Bleacher Report’s number-one college football writer and was the senior writer for Touchdown Alabama, but is now retired and just writing for my friends to enjoy my ramblings.
The chance of upsets isn’t any less this week, so we’ve got to keep up the pace and pick the pig skinners who are headed for Poopville. So let’s get started without any further ado and see if we can find where the upset bug bites this week.
LSU at Arkansas – When the Bayou Bengals bus themselves over to Razorback Stadium, they may be planning a BBQ, but they know it’s not going to be a picnic. The Piggies have been wanting to be the upset team all season to someone who thinks they’re more than a rung or two up the ladder.
I really think the upset bug could bite in this one and if you were going to bet the house, I’d say pick another game than this one. We think it’s going four quarters to settle this squabble and both will leave knowing they were in a fight.
But there is only one winner and one loser in the end, so after four quarters, we think it will be Hogs tasting the bitterness of defeat and landing on Larry’s loser list.
Kentucky at Florida – Oh Florida, where is thy respite? Another team that’s got more going for it than Florida comes to town and adds on more misery to a season these Salamanders can’t wait to end.The Boys in Lost Wages, Nevada see this as a dead heat almost and really, so do we.
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Florida’s had a long time to come up with something that works, but they just haven’t found enough of it. Still, though, we could see the Gators jumping up and making one big last stand against a clearly better team. Hey, anything’s possible in the SEC or we’d be 100% in our picks 100% of the time!
But while we could that happening, we don’t think it will when betting with house money, so pony up the pen and let’s write Florida up once again as Larry’s loser.
Texas A&M at Mississippi State – Who wants to kick a dog when he’s down? Well, we have it on good authority that the boys from College Station are only too happy to do it. So when the Farmer Boys go to Starkvegas it’s not a bad bet to think they’ll do it.
It’s not that the Mississippi Mutts are a terrible team, they’re just in the super scary SEC where the difference between the haves and the have-nots is pretty darn wide.
So let’s put the leashes on the ones that are left and walk them over to the listing area and make Larry’s loser – Mississippi State
Auburn at Missouri – It’s a Tiger vs Tiger cage match with the event being held in the Midwest Meeyower’s stadium and may the best Tiger win. The Auburn Plains Pussycats are hoping to upset some fully grown Tigers and when you look at it in reality, it isn’t a very fair fight.
Auburn isn’t living up to the season they thought they’d have and on the other side, Missouri is continuing living the good life for the most part whipping the teams they should and fighting hard against the rest.
So Auburn, who’s always hard to predict, is once again the logical choice to land on Larry’s list, so that’s where we’ll put them.
- Obviously not the sharpest knife in the SEC’s drawer this season. The only thing he freezes is Auburn’s ability to frozen out of a bowl game this season.
Now these two teams have never faced off before in any season ever, but now that the Sooners are SEC, they’re going to see them regularly. Folks, this is going to be a battle. I want to pull the handle in favor of the Cocks, but Okie is tough at home and the Chickens might be stunned by the new surroundings. So anything could happen in this one.
My daddy didn’t raise no fool and he always told me, if it’s too close to tell, always go with the team that can score points and poor Okie couldn’t do that last week, so hesitantly we’re listing Larry’s loser as Oklahoma.
Alabama at Tennessee – Smoke ’em if you got ’em! This rivalry is known as the “Third Saturday in October” but it should be known as the “Cigar Bowl” as victors can’t wait to light up the victory stogies in the locker room. So when Bama buses up to Hardknocksville for this one, you can bet both teams show up with stogies.
Now Tennessee has been scoring points like crazy, racking up wins, and getting the fanbase more fired up than these after-game cigars! The problem is, they haven’t played an offense like Bama yet and these Pacyderms plan on stomping on any plans for a track meet into the grass of Neyland Stadium.
After beating Tennessee for almost a generation until last season’s big Vol win, the rivalry is now reheated and the Tusked Ones from T-Town have revenge on their mind and they plan on putting Tennessee on the loser’s list and we think they’ll do it if the defense can wake up.
Georgia at Texas – Kirby’s Canines travel to Texas to see if they can slaughter some beef for some burgers for the Bulldogs, but these ain’t no bum Steers they’re trying to tangle with, so they may be bullied by these Bovines and get gored.
Now both these coaches are Saban disciples and each knows how the other one works, so neither is going to be surprised by any trickery. This is going to be a battle and the winner will be the one who still has muscle in the fourth quarter.
Unless they have an unexpected day of disaster with turnovers or blown plays, we expect these pooches to be pooped by then and that’ll make Larry’s loser Georgia.
Ball State at Vanderbilt – The Cardinals from Ball State flap down from Indiana to Song City, Tennessee to take on the surprising Swabbies, pick up a nice check, take their lumps, and go home. Now any team that tackles the Tide ain’t about to lose to these Red Bird bums, so it may not be a game you wish to watch.
At the first of the season, we didn’t think these Commodores would open a door to the postseason, but low and behold they sure look like a bowl team now.
So pardon the plucking, find the remote and just take it for granted that the Ball State Birdies will be on Larry’s loser’s list.
Well that’s it for this week folks. While all y’all are canvasing campuses for great tailgate treats, I’m in Spain eating and drinking my way across this scenic country. Hey, you have to keep the Mrs. happy, but don’t worry, we’re still seeing the games, albeit at ungodly hours in the night and getting stats and stuff from the housesitters manning Loser’s Lair, so we’re still in the know.
Have a great weekend of warfare and see me back here next week for more laughable losers. Drop a comment and let me know your thoughts.
Larry has been writing for over 25 years and his sports articles have been published in most all the leading sites. He was Bleacher Report’s number-one college football writer and was the senior writer for Touchdown Alabama, but is now retired and just writing for my friends to enjoy my ramblings.
